Note to readers: This article contains content created by LLM ChatGPT. The story portion is the product of my prompt and ChatGPT’s response. The rest of the article is my slightly adulterated creation, thunk up out of my own brain. Please, contact me with questions related to this article or the series of articles.

In week three, I go a lot deeper into the guts of ChatGPT (and the like) as a tool. My analysis of its value as a fictional narrative includes my evaluation of it as an editor. 

 

Comprehending the Large Language Model Artificial Intelligence… and its minions.

Chatbots are the minions. They gather the information from LLMs that we tell them to gather. The more sophisticated and detailed your prompt, the more targeted and valuable the response. You got to be smart to outsmart a robot.

Fear AI’s capacity to supplant human motivation, not any spooky power to overtake the world. Working an AI chatbot is hard when you do it right. Don’t be a lazy creative. And expect better quality fiction from authors because now they have help at their literal fingertips. 

I also remind you that this exercise is entertainment that hopes to prepare us for a new paradigm. (There, I’ve taken out that dystopian worldview reference.)

 

Subhead: The prompt continues.

ChatGPT Presents “Shadows in the Smoke”

Scene Three

 

As Harland drove away from the modest house, the image of the client lingered in his mind. There was something about her—something that didn’t quite add up. Her fear was real enough, but the way she carried herself, the subtle elegance in her demeanor, suggested that she was no stranger to trouble. He decided to dig a little deeper into who she was.

The following morning, Harland made a few calls. The kind that weren’t in the phone book, and certainly weren’t part of any public record. He had connections all over the city, people who specialized in knowing things that others wanted to keep hidden. It didn’t take long for one of his sources to come through.

The client’s name was Evelyn Cartwright, the wife of Thomas Cartwright—a prominent businessman with a finger in every pie in the city. From real estate to nightlife, Thomas Cartwright was the kind of man who made money by bending the rules just enough to get away with it. Harland had heard of him, of course. Everyone in the city had. But what he hadn’t known was that Cartwright had been in a lot of hot water recently—rumors of shady deals, whispers of ties to organized crime.

Evelyn had married Cartwright five years ago, at the height of his success. She’d been young, beautiful, the toast of high society. But something had changed. The photographs from society pages over the years told a different story: Evelyn’s smile had dimmed, her eyes had grown harder. The fairy tale marriage had turned into something much darker.

Harland’s gut tightened as he flipped through the reports his source had sent over. There were no clear signs of infidelity—no other woman had surfaced before now. But the change in Evelyn’s demeanor couldn’t be ignored. It was as if she’d been gradually losing herself, piece by piece, over the years.

He found himself wondering about the photograph she’d given him. Was it really about an affair, or was there something more to it? It wouldn’t be the first time a husband kept dangerous secrets from his wife, and Cartwright was the kind of man who played his cards close to his chest.

With this new information in hand, Harland decided it was time to pay Evelyn another visit. He needed to confront her directly, see if he could push her into revealing more about what she knew—or what she was hiding.

When he arrived at the house later that afternoon, Evelyn was already waiting for him. She looked more composed than she had the night before, but there was a tension in her posture that she couldn’t hide. Harland noticed it immediately.

“Mr. Harland,” she greeted him, her voice steady but lacking warmth. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“Thought it’d be best to move quickly,” Harland replied, stepping inside. “I’ve been doing some digging. Seems your husband isn’t exactly the saint he pretends to be.”

Evelyn’s expression didn’t change, but Harland saw a flicker of something in her eyes—fear, perhaps, or maybe anger.

“I suppose you know more about him than I do at this point,” she said quietly.

“Maybe,” Harland said, watching her closely. “But there’s something I can’t figure out. You seem scared, sure. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? You’re not just afraid of what your husband might do—you’re afraid of what you might find out.”

Evelyn’s composure cracked, just for a moment. She turned away, walking to the window, her back to Harland. “What are you implying, Mr. Harland?”

“I’m saying that there’s more to this story than you’re letting on,” he replied, his voice firm. “And if you want my help, I need to know everything. No more half-truths.”

She was silent for a long moment, staring out at the street. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she said, her words heavy with resignation. “When I married Thomas, I thought I was marrying a man who would protect me, provide for me. But over the years, I’ve seen things—things that I can’t unsee. I’ve tried to look the other way, to pretend that everything was fine, but it’s not.”

She turned to face him, her eyes hard and cold. “That woman in the photograph—she’s not just some affair. She’s dangerous, and whatever Thomas is involved in, it’s not just about business. It’s about survival.”

Harland felt a chill run down his spine. “Who is she?”

“I don’t know her name,” Evelyn replied, her voice trembling. “But I’ve seen her before. She’s been in and out of Thomas’s life for years, always in the shadows. I think she’s blackmailing him—or worse. I’m afraid of what will happen if she decides that I’m a liability.”

Harland took a deep breath, trying to piece together the puzzle. “And you’ve been keeping all of this to yourself? Why come to me now?”

“Because I’m desperate,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “I can’t do this alone anymore. I need someone who can help me figure out what’s really going on—and someone who can protect me if it all goes wrong.”

Harland studied her for a moment, weighing his options. This case had just become a lot more complicated, and a lot more dangerous. But he’d made a commitment, and now, he was in too deep to back out.

“All right,” he said finally. “I’ll help you. But we need to be smart about this. No more secrets, no more lies. If we’re going to survive this, we need to be on the same page.”

Evelyn nodded, a flicker of hope in her eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Harland. I—I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t agreed to help.”

“We’re not out of the woods yet,” Harland warned, heading for the door. “I’ll start looking into this woman. But you need to be careful. Whatever’s going on, it’s bigger than both of us.”

As he left the house, Harland couldn’t shake the feeling that he was walking into a trap. Evelyn was hiding something—he was sure of it. But what? And how deep did it go? One thing was certain: this case was going to test him in ways he hadn’t anticipated.

And as he drove back to his office, his mind kept returning to Eleanor, waiting for him at home. He’d promised her that this case would be his last. But with every step he took deeper into the shadows, that promise seemed harder to keep.

 

What did we learn?

I’ve taken a fresh approach to this week’s critique of ChatGPT’s story, “Shadows in the Smoke.” After a quick bit of research into prompt design for short story writing, I discovered that there is a lot I don’t know about this area of technology. And a whole more lot I will never know.

However, two things came out of the sojourn. I found YouTuber Christopher Kokoski, who explains in detail how to prompt ChatGPT to write a story of 10 scenes with ChatGPT in 5 minutes. His video reveals the tedium and importance of human interaction required to extract a story worth reading. I didn’t put that much effort into “Shadows in the Smoke.” Mr. Kokoski takes much more time reviewing the narrative provided by ChatGPT and shaping it into a palpable experience.

I also came across another YouTuber named Jason Hamilton who uses a combination of ChatGPT and Claude AI tools to help him create stories. His video describes the process in 20 minutes. Jason’s video instruction includes much greater detail. He explains the concept of a short story as a narrative genre, differing from a novel. According to his introduction, his style plans to be less involved with the prompting of bots. However, this does not prove to be true as he immediately begins telling ChatGPT to modify its outline to suit his growing ideas. In fact, Jason is so skilled at using ChatGPT that he makes it tell him when it’s finished reading a synopsis he modified. 

This is the trouble with humility. Someone like Jason tells us he is “by no means and expert” at a given process, and then rapidly begins exercising great acuity in the application of said process.

This is not false modesty in Jason’s case. Watch a few minutes of his video and I think you will agree. He just doesn’t recognize how competent and capable he really is compared to other humans. It’s like a social awareness problem. I mean, has this guy been on the road with any other drivers in a semi-populated area of any kind? He appears a bit oblivious of his own intellect as far as I can tell. 

The other awareness I gained was how versatile AI chatbots are for stirring up ideas. You can tell ChatGPT or Claude or Gemini or one of their artificial friends that they are an expert in some discipline, give them a relevant task, and then set them to it. Afterwards, sort the value of its output.

Here’s an example from Claude, after I assigned it a role as “expert fiction editor with 30 years of experience” who enjoys “reading and critiquing noir mystery short stories to determine skill and originality of the writer.” I’ve condensed the 1000 word analysis and critique, and included my comments in between the sections.

Title: A Promising Start to a Noir Mystery, but Character Development and Originality Need Improvement

The provided scene has many of the classic elements of a noir mystery… troubled, beautiful woman seeking help… hardboiled private detective… secrets… the sense that no one can be fully trusted.   

I totally agree with this assessment. Nice start, Claude!

However, while competently written from a technical perspective, the scene lacks the originality and depth of characterization found in the best noir fiction. The characters feel more like noir archetypes rather than fully-fleshed out individuals. 

Have I not been saying this all along? Well stated.

The Detective… Harland has potential as the gruff, world-weary private eye, but we don’t get much sense of who he is beyond the surface clichés. He risks being a forgettable protagonist. The fact that he has a wife waiting at home is an interesting twist on the loner PI trope, but this subplot needs more development to add emotional stakes.

The Femme Fatale, Evelyn Cartwright fits the mold… beautiful, troubled… hiding dangerous secrets. But she also lacks depth beyond an archetype. Her… inner life and true motivations remain opaque. Is she really a victim or is she manipulating Harland for her own purposes?

I think this last point raises questions that pull the reader along. I’m not sure I would agree with Claude that the vagueness is a bad thing here.

The Businessman Husband as a shady businessman… is a well-worn trope in noir fiction. 

Claude is on point regarding the need for specific details… to make him more distinctive. I do believe, though, that  blackmail of some sort provides intrigue and a potential red herring. Save this one for later, Claude. 

The Mystery [itself]… doesn’t feel particularly fresh or intriguing yet. The story needs a more unique central crime or conspiracy to set it apart. 

Uh huh. That’s correct. With more effort on my part to direct ChatGPT toward unique plot ideas, we might have a better story. I’ll keep that in mind for another time. 

The writing gets the job done and captures the dark, cynical tone of classic noir. But it lacks a distinctive authorial voice… similes and metaphors… are a bit cliched rather than evocative. Dialogue… is functional… but doesn’t quite capture the punchy, hardboiled patter characteristic of the best noir fiction. Harland and Evelyn’s exchange could use more subtext, innuendo and veiled threats. Characters’ voices aren’t clearly differentiated.

Pacing… is solid, cutting between Harland’s investigation and meeting with Evelyn. Frequent exposition dumps and on-the-nose dialogue make the pace drag.

Amen, brother Claude. 

A key element of classic noir is the bleak, dark portrayal of human nature, relationships and society… the troubled marriage, the pervasiveness of greed and corruption…. Developing the thematic subtext could give noir heft to match the surface [content].

I believe noir mystery is all about the thematic subtext. It is a statement on the darker side of human nature. So yeah, no duh.

Overall, …a good grasp of the basic elements and style… set-up is solid, if familiar. But the characterization lacks depth and originality, the central mystery doesn’t feel fresh… writing needs more distinctiveness. 

As I noted earlier in the conversation. (See previous posts on this story.)

With revision and a focus on subverting some of the genre tropes, this could evolve into a more compelling noir tale. The author shows promise, but should dig deeper to find a unique take on the hardboiled formula. Studying noir masters like Chandler, Hammett, and Macdonald would help add that extra grit and existential weight the scene is missing. The potential is there, but more development is needed to determine if an engaging and original noir story will emerge from this establishing scene. With some fine tuning of the character arcs, mystery plot, and prose, it could become a gripping read. This is a decent start, but some work remains to inject this genre exercise with real intrigue, emotional resonance, and authorial personality.

This final paragraph holds profound truth about AI chatbot capabilities. Since the start of this experiment I have begun to explore the power of LLM chat tools. What becomes more clear to me with each encounter, is that ChatGPT, along with its cohorts, may recognize the need for “fine tuning” a piece of writing. Nonetheless, it requires the human imagination to steer its mechanism. The human creative mind identifies which character arc, mystery plot or prose style will grip the reader with intrigue, emotional resonance and personality.